Why did I create this blog? Well...In a time when cash is King, I, the Ghetto Girl, have forfeited my endeavors to explore new worlds due to the recent demise of the current economy.
I am forced to reside in less than what my glory days may have been. I refer to my current situation as 'the Ghetto'. It does not reflect on the good people of the neighborhood, even if the physical conditions are somewhat less than what I am used to. It only refers to the mentality that I have placed myself, due to my recent transference in a mentality that I have not grown accustomed to.
One may think of the 'hood' (as some have affectionately referred to parts of this area of Chicago), as the last place you would find suitable inhabitants who would pay a price for something less than 'appealing'. But this is where you would be completely wrong. I have come to believe that the 'hood' or the 'ghetto' is a state of mind. Billionaires who have been reduced to millionaires may relate to their new status as the 'hood'. Upper class individuals who suddenly been reduced to middle class, may find themselves with the same mentality. So in this sense, I refer myself to the 'ghetto' in terms of mentality....not locality.
With the assistance of a popular domain called Airbnb.com, this Ghetto Girl has rejoined the ranks of the many who have opened up her cashless kingdom to allow strangers to temporarily reside. Professionals from all walks of life, from various background and from around the world, have also sought refuge in my domain...surprisingly....as they have transitioned to their new lives.
These are the tales of our experiences with the inhabitants of my kingdom who have visited me at one time or another. The names of the individuals will has changed. Only the country in which the are from will represent the individual for whose story I wish to tell.
Welcome to my world!
“Please be advised, the views and opinions expressed in this story are those of Nonya and DO NOT reflect the official attitude of Sybil. The story should not be utilized in real-world performance based on limited alcohol provided by Nonya in order to contain the true author Sybil from coming out. The story SHOULD HAVE contained scenes that are disturbing, strong language and violence. It should have been intended for mature audiences and not children!”
I’m going to try to keep this story as PG rated as possible. But I posted the disclaimer above on behalf of Sybil (not Nonya).
Happy Sybil? Now let’s continue.
It was a warm late Friday afternoon that we…..me, Mississippi and Kentucky started on our Friday quest which is starting to become a ritual we now call ‘Junk Jay Fri Day’. It’s the time when we scour the city for the finest junk food in all of Chicago. We headed back to 11200 S. Michigan for again those home made Old Fashion Donuts. I thought we had made it in time to capture the long awaited monster size Apple Fritters or the Texas Donuts at 3 p.m. But NOT. Again we were told we had to come earlierrrr for that. So we settled for the fresh baked chocolate and glaze…..a dozen please.
We then headed over to 11700 S. Western for some popcorn that some rave that its better than Garretts Popcorn. Yes…the cheese and caramel were off the chain. Finally headed over to Dicolas Fish on 10100 S. Western for some frog legs and catfish. The night seemed complete. All I have to do now was take our happy behinds home and, re-watch yesterday’s fantastic episode of Scandal and await the arrival of my new guests (3 Germans, and a women from Holland).
It’s about 8 p.m. when the another guest from Germany, who arrived two days earlier, tell me a funny story. He went to the Sears Tower and overheard a conversation from another 3 Germans that were standing in front of him in the line. The three germans were talking to each other asking each other, ’what’s good to do in the city?’ He reply in German to them some place to go.
They respond, ‘where are you from?’ they asked. “Germany”, he reply.
He reply, “Where are you staying?”
He replies, ‘South of Chicago.”
They ask, ‘Airbnb?”
Yes he replies. “Would the person be Nonya?”
"YES!" he answers.
The three German guests didn’t even check in yet! LOL and they met the new arrival at Sears Tower! SMALL WORLD!
I go outside to the backyard and see Argentina just having loads of fun burning more wood in the fire pit. So I tell him, ‘this is a good day and I’m going to get us some beer later. The real beer….no 211 or King Cobra’.
The night is becoming very festive.
I scurried down to the basement like a rat to cheese, to position myself on the sofa, happy, drinking a Hennekin and thinking the night don’t get any better than this.
The german guys and girl arrived and now everyone one was pretty much in the kitchen just chatting away. I take my leave because I want to start watching Scandal OVER uninterrupted. When the guy from Mississippi heard that I’m watching Scandal, he hurried down because he didn’t see the episode.
What is better than watching a re-run? It is watching with someone who haven’t seen it and seeing the shock on their face. Awesome feeling. It almost have the same feeling of watching for the first time. Lol
I go upstairs to get another beer. I probably should have never done that.
Kentucky starts to ask about the Tahiti ‘Pervert’ guest. She said that early that morning around 9 a.m., the Perv was on a tantrum. He was screaming off the top of his lungs saying,
“This house ain’t s***! F** All yall. …. Bunch of losers and yall ain’t worth the breath you breathe!”
NOW WHY AM I JUST NOT HEARING THIS?
I confirm the story with the other guests who heard him hollering and screaming….four of them.
Argentina was hesitant to say anything because he knew World War III with Sybil and Perv was like a mixed bowl of disaster…. like a nice hot pot of water for rice….’bring water to BOIL and then simmer’. So Argentina, after having a relaxing 3 hours of wood burning time and now holding a Hennekin in his hand, begins to arch his back backwards and make a disturbing ‘arggghhhhh’ noise.
“Nonya, I didn’t want to say anything. But now that you know, I know what will happen. I hope that it doesn’t happen. But if Sybil comes out, I have your back. Arggghhh” says Argentina.
I started laughing. I said, “Sybil is not coming. I promise. Ok Ok…I wont say anything. He’s (Perv) leaving Tuesday.”
Ok. As promised, Sybil didn’t come out. But I never said Hannibelle wouldn’t show up. For those that don’t know, she’s Hannibal’s sister. She’s a bit cold and truly unfeeling ….but she don’t eat meat.
I tried not to say anything….for a good 30 minutes.
I returned to the basement. I tried to focus on the tv show ‘Scandal’. But there was a scandal brewing right in this house. Like the tv show, I couldn’t turn away. I look to the right of me, and there it was…..my cell phone. It was staring at me, but there was no sexy president on the other end. I tried to look away. It may have been a half hour before I picked up the phone to text the Tahiti Pervert.
“Did you go off on a rampage this morning at 9 a.m. Why?”
10 minutes passed with no answer.
“???? I didn’t” he replied
“Yes you did. Four different people heard you this morning. You said, ‘F this house, F you all. Yall some stupid MFs. Yall don’t deserve to breathe the air. … These are not your words?”
“I don’t find it funny. Especially when you are saying they don’t deserve to breathe.”
“I haven’t done a ducking thing!!! (his real words) What are you talking about? The only one was awake was Kentucky”, he replied.
“No. Four people heard you screaming. Why would they lie?” I asked.
“R U Serious?”, he replied.
“If you are not happy here, that’s ok. Cause I want you to be happy. But this screaming for no reason….I don’t know what you are smoking but you can’t keep that up here. If you can’t keep it together, you are going to have to go.”
“I make more money than all of the whole house together?” he replied.
What? What does money got to do with this? I wasn’t asking this broke-tail-crackhead who owe me money….I’m talking to you about your SCREAMNG!
“Really? Good then. You won’t have no problem paying me my $65. All I’m saying is if you want to stay untill Tuesday, you cannot be going off like that. That’s bad for business.” I continued.
Now, the whole time, I’m trying to give him a chance. Just keep quiet. Basically saying to him to keep it together or get out.
“Did I say I wouldn’t pay you?,” he replied. “Don’t question me! I can count! I’ll be gone Tuesday!”
“Are you yelling at me? You ain’t staying here with that attitude.” I replied.
“F what they say. I don’t care. They are a bunch of losers. I will be gone Tuesday before you even awake.”
“No. You are going tonight.” I said. I know he didn’t think he was going to tell me what I can’t do and demand he is staying untill Tuesday. He ain’t paid crap and making demands? REALLY? He must have been really high.
“I never told you I would have your money on Wednesday. Are you drunk? I dealt with a lot of drunks and my 3rd uncle was a drunk. And you are one for sure. Threaten me. I paid my s***! ”So don’t f*** with me!”
NO HE DIDN”T! Did he curse at me?!! (You probably thought i was going to say something about the drunk remark. ummm not necessary…that’s between me and my bottle. No need for name callin…lol. But you ain’t going to cuss at me!
He continues, “It’s you who have the problems, not me! Believe that! I never made a outburst about a d*** thing! Its all u.”.
Ok crackhead. I’m done with this text crap.
“I need you to call me if you are not afraid” I said.
“I’m not afraid of s***. Especially u!”
Oh really? You should be.
“I’m still waiting. You gonna call or not?” I replied.
“LOL. Give me a break. I’ve got money. Don’t need to call u. U r only a slum lord. Well I got money. And believe me, I got your number.” he continued.
“You going to insult me and expect to stay here? You calling me or not!”
“I’m not insulting.“…..ringggggg.
Finally…cause my fingers were starting to hurt.
He starts slurring, cussing and rambling his words about how he got my money and he’s staying to Tuesday and he’s out of here. In between all of that rampage….when I tried to talk he was like, ‘LET ME TALK!”
So I did.
“Are you finished?”, I replied as calm as a dead man six feet under. I continued, “What is going to happen is this. You will keep your money. You will pack your bags. And you are leaving tonight. I don’t want you here. You are not staying till Tuesday. You will be leaving here tonight! Understand?”
“You throwing me out tonight!??” he replied
“Yes I am. I will take you wherever you want to go but you are not staying here with that attitude”, I said, while calmly sipping my warm Hennekin.
You know what’s funny? Normally I buy a small bottle of Vodka but I didn’t tonight for some reason. That saved his life.
“Hello. You still there?”I asked
“I’m here…. at the door!”
So I go to the door and let him in. He’s raging while heading to the back bedroom. He gets into the middle room and see Kentucky. He start pointing fingers at her….blaming her. I told him to keep moving and get his stuff. He’s still trying to confront those he think exposed him. Argentina was trying to keep him calm but he wasn’t having it. He starting cursing at them and calling them names. Finally he goes to the room and start packing. He slammed the door.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SLAM MY DANG DOOR! (putting it mildly)
I went back, opened the door. “You are not going to slam my door. Keep this door open.”
He does it again. After a moment, Argentina goes in there and try to talk to him. I wanted to say, its no use. He’s on something. Afterwards, Argentina comes out, and the Perv slam the door again.
“You’re trying to assert your power with your no teeth! You wouldn’t be saying nothing if I had paid you the money for the month!” he yells.
“You are right. But we ain’t having that conversation, cause you didn’t pay me.” I replied. He don’t know it would be a different conversation! Him wanting his money back!
“You all about the money. You only care about the money. They all losers! Who lives in a hostel for a year!” he’s yellin over and over again.
“Ok. If that what makes you feel good. Yes, I’m about the money. Now get your stuff and lets go.” I said.
“I make more money than all everybody in the house! Yall b****… a bunch of losers!”, he yelling while the four new guests are just watching in astonishment.
“That’s great. That mean you have money to get a hotel,” I reply.
So Ireland said he would come with me when I go with him. But on the way out, Perv is being confrontational with him and was trying to fight him. He just kept getting close to his face. I, of coarse, went back to the kitchen because I forgot my PHOENIX FORK rising from its ashes!
For those who don’t remember the fork, feel free the blog where i’m about to take the Somonian out in the middle of the street with my fork before the cops halled his behind to jail.
Somebody was going to get stabbed tonight. I got ginsu, butcher, spikes knives and such but I prefer my ol’ faithful fork.
By the time we go outside, it was clear, I’m not taking him nowhere.
“Since you have a bad attitude, I’m not taking you anywhere,” I said.
“YOU WEREN’T GOING TO TAKE ME ANYWAY! YOU WERE JUST SAYING THAT TO GET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE! WHY DON’T YOU COME OUTSIDE THIS GATE (IRELAND)” he yelled. He must have known that he getting stabbed inside the property line is self-defense. That’s why he wanted Ireland to come outside the gate.
“If you don’t leave, I’m calling the police.” I replied. Say one more word fool!
He said one more words….and I did.
While he was pacing back and forth talkin trash, I asked Ireland to get my coat cause this was going to be a long night. After coming back, I sit down on the porch, taking in the view.
I asked, “What is your problem Perv?” Ireland says to me, “why are you asking him? It’s no use.”
I said to Ireland, “I’m just getting some details for my blog.”
“You know, there are a lot of things I tried to overlook with you. But you made it really hard. You expect me to believe that after four people said these things that you’ve said,….I’m suppose to believe you because you say you didn’t.”
“I didn’t!”, he yelled.
“So I guess you didn’t send a picture of your penis to Kentucky?” I asked.
“NO! I didn’t send a picture!” he said but not convincingly.
“So that wasn’t your penis in the picture and that wasn’t your conversation of saying nasty things you wanted to do all over her face?” I continued.
“No”…he said even softer but still pissed.
You see, days earlier, Kentucky revealed to me a disturbing piece of text message threads he wanted to do to her. Sending her pictures of his small penis as if it was suppose to impress her. He made some threats later that if she had told, he do would do her bodily harm. She didn’t tell me until later.
“So if I have proof of your picture of your penis that you didn’t send, and I’m suppose to believe that that’s not your penis because you say it isn’t….. But I’m also not suppose to believe that you didn’t scream at the top of your lungs this morning simply because you SAID YOU DIDN’T…oh and I’m suppose to believe that you didn’t say the threats about cutting someone’s throats or they don’t deserve to breathe? Did you really think you were going to stay in this house even for another day? Really? You know, the next time you make damaging remarks, be sure not to put it on text.”
"File it away! File it away!", he kept repeating sarcastically.
So he starts to call a taxi.
“The cops will be here before the taxi does. They can take you where you want to go.” I interrupted.
He starts walking down the street.
I yell, “I’m not watching your stuff so you better not walk to far!”
He sticks up the middle finger…. Lol…. and heads back. He start to roll all his stuff to a neighbor’s house a couple of houses down. He goes to the house where he just met the guy on his first night at the nearby lounge. He was the guy that came to my house looking for a ‘Stephen’. Stephen was one of three names he used and denied using.
In hine sight, the first night he came, Sybil blasting him out was correct. He wasn’t a cop. However, he was crazy. Sybil got CRADAR antennas! CRAZY RADAR!
Ireland asked me how I stayed calmed, “you never cursed or anything”. I told him, ‘Emotions, whether it is love or hate is an emotion that you care. At this point, there is no need for emotions. I don’t care.”
What I wanted to say was, when I stabbed this fool with my fork, there will be no coming back. I don’t care and I need to void any feeling of delivering his body to a ‘sleep tank’.
After Perv left, the cops came and asked if he was on rocks. I was like, “I don’t know!”. Sounded like they were trying to see if he took some kind of drugs in my house. I told them that he came home taking crazy. “I think he was on something when he came back”.
When I went inside, the ‘kids’ were at the door.
Nothing to see folks. Momma’s going to take first watch at the door if he comes back. Ireland volunteered to stay up all night as well. LOL
EVERYBODY HIDE! ggHilton GOT BIG BUGS, NAKED PEOPLE AND GUNS…oh wait……he’s talking about my place? LOL
Did those angry North koreans just lied on the review? LMBOOO!!!!! I’m naming them North Korea because nothing that ugly came from South Korea!
I have to say, its the little things in life that makes laugh out loud. The following review was made by 5 N. Korean guests from another website. I guessed they were a little pissed because their were some hot guys from Brazil in the other room that would be sharing the SHARED room with them and may steal their ladyfolks! Now I made and always make special effort to separate the girls from the boys (especially girls from Asia and Muslim countries). But these crackheads thought they were going to come up in here and have an orgy at $13 a night! So when they came, 5 hours late after midnight (5 am) and doing the nosy thing instead of taking their butts to bed since they drove for 13 hours, they were a bit miffed that they couldn’t get their refund. To me, they owed me $65 since I blocked the extra person without payment.
I get a text, ‘you better give me my refund. Remember me, I came Saturday?’
"No I don’t remember you". What i remember is some slow bunnies coming Sunday MORNING when I missed my sleep signal!
After going back and forth on the text, North Korea said, “if you don’t give me my money, I make bad review of you”.
You go ahead kimosabe….make bad review. I make cookies.
"I’m looking forward to it", I replied.
So here is the review,
"Never go to this house. The place of house is the most dangerous province in U.S. The house is really dirty and many big bugs. The smell is really bad and there are almost 10 naked people in a small room. Don’t believe the picture. I don’t know how many people stay there. There are many old rooms which I didn’t enter. And you never get a refund from Nonya. I saw people who came to me with a gun. Never go to this house. I am sure that your life is batter than cheap price. I log in Wimdu to notice this truth. Find the other site. It is the best way to enjoy your chicago trip."
Just couldn’t help but laugh. I was like, ‘what movie did he watch to get that?” Awwww shucks, he say that about every American home. lol
So I replied, and I have to admit, it’s hard to write a reply when you’re laughing to hard.
"I’m not going to resort to the outrageous lies that I couldn’t help but laugh at…bugs, guns? Naked people? Wow. Heck why don’t you throw in cowboys and indians, meth labs. Go big on the lie. (Go big or go home!) The truth they came late 5 hours late past midnight (5 a.m. in the morning), had me waiting alll night with their slow and bad driving. They were mad because they thought they would get the whole room to themselves to be with their sex toys and/or girlfriends. They didn’t read the first line in the paragraph that said this is a shared room. Once they came to the house, instead of just preparing to go to bed after a long drive, they started just poking around in the dark into every area they could ‘sneakingly’. So future host beware. It was so bad that i had to get up from where i was sleeping to ask them if they were lost. I didn’t know what they were looking for since they were a floor away from their room. I wasn’t sure if they were there to rob my place or what. But whatever the reasons, I felt so unsafe with them that I stayed up to make sure that I would inform the other guests in the house to keep their belongings close to them. There were 5 of them although they booked for 4. I guess when they discovered that there was really nothing to steal, they decided to leave within 30 minutes of their arrival. I thought to myself, IF they were on the road for 13 hours driving like they said they were, then why did they not seem tired? Why didn’t they just rest for the night? Why were they roaming thru the house in the a.m. instead of going from the bathroom to the room? And why did they leave in a haste. Very glad I had other guests in the house. But i don’t need them to protect me. After all, according to ‘Sung’s story, there are naked people and people with guns and big bugs in the house. LMBOOOO!"
Ahhhh mannn, you can’t make this stuff up. Gotta love it.
Maybe because its Friday, I had to laugh at this titile! LMBO!
'keep it together nonya'….
I knew it was going to end on a sour note but i wasn’t sure how tonight would play out to tell you the truth. As a professional scheduler of AIRBNB, I realize that when you have more than 3 people in a group that accepts your reservation in Englewood, there is an 85% chance it will be a cancellation. The number goes up higher when there are more in the group simply because the true traveller finds the reviews and area exciting although the ‘fake’ friends question that person’s sanity when they step into the area. But thats understandable. Still you will pay costly for your mistake.
Well tonight was nothing special sorta.
I already had 4 Brazillians and 1 guy from Sri Lankin check in a couple of days ago. These countries to me were places where i thought…’they will stay simply because these countries are on the cray cray list too’. But it was the guy from Sri Lankin who ask me, ‘is it safe? when i was taking them to the train. Good thing I didn’t say what was on my mind like, ‘Here’s some tampads, grow a pair of balls’…or ‘its 5 of you, really?’ or…’You’re from Sri Lanka…rapist capital?’ Cause I kept remembering my friend in Italy who speaks Sri Lankin and says that the number one problem in that country is sexual assault.
But nooooooo… I didn’t say that. The only words I uttered was, ‘when you are in a city of millions of people, how safe do you think you will be?’ The Brazillians seemed to agree with me.
Now shush boy and move on.
But thats NOT the reason for this blog.
Now I’ve had MANY South Koreans stay here and i love them to death. My sisters is in S. Korea and has been there 3 years. I even tried to learn the language by taking a whole year of language classes twice a week. So what I am about to say do not reflect the opinion of the Ghetto Girl Blog…#disclaimer
!!! These 5 south koreans sucked big time!!!
They booked four folks and asked later if they could add one more to the mix and pay that person when they get to the house. I said no problem. But I knew. It was past my 3 person rule. They will cancel. But I still entertained their fantasy.
The night before, they emailed me and stated that they will be coming at 12 - 1 a.m. I wasn’t sure if they are speaking based on american terminology or what. So i asked, ‘1 past midnight?’ …’yes’, they replied.
No problem. I re-arranged people since this weekend was going to be 20 plus folks with the Koreans.
Midnight (Day of Arrival) - Still waiting to hear from guest Korea group. No word.
1 a.m. - No word
2 a.m. - Ok, now i’m thinking….really? Its to late for you to cancel. You’re driving from Arkansas and you should really be tired. Tell me something. I spent alllll night moving folks around so that if I assumed that this group is all girls, then I don’t want them to be in the room with the 6 guys. So I texted them, ‘When do you expect to arrive? And how many girls and guys are you?’.
Normally I wouldn’t ask that question but Asia are a little more fundamental on the sexes sleeping in separate rooms and i respect that. No hanky panky. So i’m always looking to put 2 Asians of any kind in my bed or the King size bed instead of 2 air mattresses so that they would be more comfortable since there are other places for me to sleep.
But then they replied, ‘we should be there around 3 a.m. and there are 3 girls 2 guys’.
Ok. So I situated all the guys to be in one room of the attic and the 3 girls to take MY BED and added an air mattress on the girls area. I thought it was a good situation since if they told me earlier, I could have put them in the main floor.
I promise you that when they called to say that they were in front of my house (THE WRONG HOUSE AND THE WRONG BLOCK) which took another 40 minutes for them to drive 2 miles an hour for which i said, ‘GET BACK INTO YOUR CAR, YOU ARE ON THE WRONG BLOCK.” They cut me off, and didn’t arrive until 4:15 am.
Now my thought when they got out of the car like molasseis was….you are trippin. You are 4 hours WAY late, will be waking up other guests and you need to move your aces so i can go to bed!
But like snails, they crawled out of the car.
So I explained before they went upstairs so as not to disturbed everybody else, I explained where each will be sleeping…2 by the window (guys) and 3 (girls) on the other side of the chimney unless they want to split up and 2 girls can sleep in the lower bunk on the main floor.
They clearly had the look of ‘ok’….before we went upstairs.
Full speed ahead? NOTTTT! By the time I left the attic, I knew…like a pregnant women in labor in PUSH STAGE…I knew…this is going to be long night. The Brazillians were still up since they had just got home an hour before them. One of the Brazillian held out his hand to the Korean guy and the Korean guy had no reach. Just looked at him.
By the time I put my first foot on the step, heading back downstairs after explaining where to go and what to do, I looked back and yeah….there was that look. It was that, ‘GET ME OUTTA HERE’ look from all 5 of them huddled in the small girlie chimney area.
But i ignored it! heheeh Like in a snow motion, I could see myself turning away laughing and saying to myself, ‘really? its 4 in the morning and you don’t want to sleep first before doing the stupid thing like leaving??”
So I went to the living room with my remnant of Vodka and orange juice since i hadn’t had a drink in 3 days and its friday night. I’m on the daybed peepin over the handle to see where these crackheads are coming down the staircase one at a time.
It’s 4:45 in the freakin morning and they are roaming thru the house like freakin cattle.
I popped my head up over the couch arm and surprised one of them.
I asked, ‘you need something’?”
They were looking thru the house like they were in search of Ben Ladin. I wanted to say, ‘they caught him!’ Startled, the guy was like, ‘no….just the bathroom!”
I thougth…yeah right. How can you mistake the toilet for anything else?
Then the next person and the next came downstairs.
Go ahead and graze the land… i’m thinkin…. but you aint gettin your money back.
So I take my last sip of orange juice with my Don King hair and go into the kitchen with the every ready colligen girl putting on her facial on the kitchen sink while Barbie #2 was in the bathroom.
I tried to strike up a conversation, even raising the fact that my sisters in Korea. And for the record, Koreans, THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS THAT NORTH KOREA IS OFF LIMITS SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY SOUTH KOREA! LOL As if we didn’t watch a day of news in our life.
Anyway, I retreated back to the living room area because i thought, “this is a lost cause to save them from losing $200!”
And there it was…the question from the guy….
"Nonya, I think we would like to cancel because these are girls…"
NO CRAP …REALLY?
Ok..That statement right there was a red flag. Normally, Asians will let me know UP FRONT that they are interested in being in a all girls room and I will let them know up front that it will or will not be a co-ed room. This group didn’t.
In fact, I told the guy when he brought it up, I said, “You know, I understand Asian guests. Truly. I have a sister thats has been in S. Korea for the past 3 years. When any Asian guest contact me, the first concern from the girls is ‘will there be any guys in the room’”.
That’s when I can answer yes or no.
Continuing, I said, “But this group never mentioned none of that. In fact, It was me that texted you after midnight to ask you how many girls and guys will be arriving? If I had known earlier (like when you booked), I would have moved folks around easily. But you made no mention of this. Do you understand what I am saying to you?’.
He nodded his head yes but his girlfriend was standing there so he tried to persist in the conversation. I was laughing on the inside. My thinking while he was nodding his head was, ‘you had no problem renting one room with your girlie friends when you thought it was you both guys with your three girl friends. The american dream of ‘sex in the city’! for $13 a night! But now there is competiion! Brazil! If you were so concerned with their ‘virginity’ you would have asked for separate rooms or even mentioned that there were girls involved BEFORE YOU CAME!! SOO NOOOO REFUND TO YOU PERVERT!
Even though they knew that the Brazilians were leaving in one night, this guy was not having it!
The whole time, I’m dying lauging on the inside.
So I got sneaky too.
There was one bed in the room available that they didn’t take. I went in there to hide. Because I knew they wanted to leave but like cowards, they would wait till i was sleep. So i made it easy for them. I left the room guarding the front door.
Like racoons scurring for food, they were out of here!
I ACTUALLY thought it was only 1 person that left when i saw the light of the car from the side of the house from one of the bedrooms. Literally, THEY DROVE LIKE SNAILS COMING TO THE HOUSE! One car was trying to get around them and I thought for an instance, that car will shoot them if they don’t move their aces.
But from the moment i went into that room, took 2 sips of my drink and saw the lights in the window….I thought…theres NO WAY THEY ALL MOVED THAT FAST with alll their bags to downstairs. I heard fast footsteps but NO DRAGGING BAGS OR ANYTHING!
In disbelief, I went upstairs and sure enough….all the bags were gone and the beds were not touch.
Never let it be said that Koreans don’t have skills cause I didn’t see that one coming. I laughed a good while when i saw the car gone. The reason I said I ‘slaved’ all day was that I washed and mored so much laundry for the 3 girls just to be in one spot that i was like, ‘you don’t appreciate me?’ LOL Putting a condom over blankets (duvet) is no easy task! heheheeh Butttt I guess when you have a one day payoff as that, I can’t complain….huh?
This is an interruption in the Ghetto Girl Blog update. Please note that we will continue with our national broadcast of last weeks cray cray, after this important announcement.
"Nonya, you got new guests coming", someone ask while I was spending some quality time with the laundry.
I yelled back upstairs, “no new guests are scheduled to arrive tonight!” ….so i thought. I forgot I had been drinking and accepted a new request for one night for four guests from Switzerland. Just a one night stand….stay.
"Well there are some white people in the car outside in front of the house with some police cars around them!" they replied.
So I dropped what i was doing.
Me, California, Missisiippi went to the door. Sure enough, there were a cop car behind the SUV and an undercover cop car directly across the street facing the SUV. Inside the car were four guys with their hands in the air in the car. (see picture)
Now I was still trying to process if these were my white people or some random white people driving thru. Then it hit me, they are mines!
Now while we are pouring out of the house to see all of the commotion, out of nowhere, tall white 20 year old Seattle, was coming from home from the opposite direction yelling out profanity. She was coming home from work. She yelled out, “OMG there’s some **** white people here! OMG! What is this world coming too!!!”
As if her voice was like an opera singer at its highest pitch, her voice rang out with so much umph and profanity, that we all fell out laughin! Cali went toward the car and start taking pictures of the guys in the car with their hands up. The undercover cops asked if we knew them and Cali, who was closest to them said yeah, and basically said that they are visiting and i yelled out, ‘our cousins’. Seattle still yelling out her disbelief that their are white people on the block, from what i can recall, the under cover cop states that the guys in the car were not ‘those peoples’ (the regular white guests) that walk the neighborhood regularly. The other cops had asked the Switzs in the car, ‘what were they doing here?’ (in the neighborhood) and some other questions.
So while we were bent over in laughter and there was some anger with the cop behind the SUV, the under cover cops drove up to the other cops and said something to them. At that point, the cops returned the license to the Switzs and then sped off in an angry fit.
Of coarse, this set the tone for the night. Denmark, Germany, Switzs and everybody else went out back reinacting that nights event over Budweiser around the firepit. Around 2 a.m., the Bud went dry. Still filled with excitement, I said, “Anyone up for another adventure?!”
The Switzs said, “YEAH!”
"Alright, lets go to the liquor store for more beer!", I replied.
"We’re walking?" they asked.
"Noooo…I will drive".
So the Switzs and the one German pile into the car. We only went to the corner, parked in front of the store and off the four went inside for beer.
Part of me knew that as soon as they get out of that liquor store, some cop is going to pull over and say something if they come to the car.
Of coarse, without fail, they were on queue.
After the three came into the car, I could see a slow police car pulling up to the side of the car even tho the light at the corner was green.
"Hi guys! See you all are getting beer!", said the police officer who could have been of Asian. He seemed a bit ‘friendly’ in tone but one of those tones that seem more deceitful….like a man with fork tongue!
"Yeah, we getting beer!" I replied.
"Look like you all are going have to have a good time tonight!" he replied.
"We sure are!" I replied….but now becoming more irritated. Just come out and say what you want to say because clearly your crazy driver, ‘Mr. Angry White Cop’ is not sharing your ‘enthusiasm’.
"Soooo, where you guys are headed? What is your address?" he asked.
See, why couldn’t you just be on your way like a good little officer and mind your business by doing cop things, like catch BAD GUYS IN ENGLEWOOD!
"Since when do I need to give you my address because we’re buying beer?!" I asked in a not so friendly tone while locking my eyes to his to show him, ‘try me!’ I’m in no mood for you.
"Ohhh I just want to make sure that they are all safe" he replied.
"WE WILL BE JUST FINE. I WILL MAKE SURE WE ARE ALL SAFE!,’ I replied.
Then they sped off. The Switzs started laughing. ”Wasn’t that the same cop that pulled us over?” he asked. They couldn’t believe it. Twice in one night!
I aim to please…..Nonya’s Big Adventure! All aboard!
You can’t make this up! I was struggling with the title of this particular blog. So you be the judge.
You wanna do WHAT? Followed by the story, ‘Sybils return’
I’m going to start backwards. We’re going to start with the icing on the cake!
“I’m from the Netherlands and I would like to teach you to dance”.
This is the statement that is written on the t-shirt of theguy from Netherlands. Seem harmless. So why is this part of the cray cray land?
“Nonya, I have a question to ask you?” he asked.
He was so deep into thought before asking the question, I didn’t know what to expect.
“So what’s on your mind Netherland?” I asked.
“This is my tee shirt that I had made and I want to offer dance lessons?” he replied with very serious conviction. Looking at this tall 6 foot guy, I never would have guessed that he was a dancer, especially when he seems like he is awkward with even walking. But you never know these days.
“So youuu want to offer dance lessons?”
“Yes. I want to offer people around the neighborhood dance lessons. Do you think I would be able to go up to people and offer dance lessons?”he asked.
I didn’t know where to begin with the questions. This awkward walking tall skinny white guy want to teach black people dance lessons? When I looked at him, the first thing that came to my mind was ‘RhythmLESS Nation’ by Janet Jackson. But I try not to be quick to judge.
After trying to keep myself from laughing, I reinstated the possibility of his question in my mind.
“So you want to go up to black folks IN THIS neighborhood to dance? Wellll….what kind of dance are you talking about?” I asked.
“Dutch dancing.” He replied
Ok. I could see that some people may be interested in learning something new. No Cray CRAY possibility here. So far….
“So how would you propose to having the lessons? People are busy. When would you be able to have these lessons,” I asked because I’m thinking there is no way in hades you will be bringing folks to this house.
“I was thinking to just have the lessons in the street,” he stated.
Eyes opened wide.
“What do you mean having the lessons on the street?” I asked.
“Either on the street or in the park?” he replied.
Still….his answers are not registering in my mind. As if I was having some kind of alzseimer, I didn’t under the nature of his statements.
“So you want to dance on the street? To schedule a time for them to come to you to do dance lessons? If that’s the case, there are some places I would suggest that you can go to get clientale. They have special days with the Dancing in the Park downtown that you can go to when they are teaching the people to dance for the first hour to different type of music. You could pass out some cards to give them dance lessons.” I replied, even tho I still couldn’t comprehend the full magnitude of what he was about to say, especially since he only was going to be in town for 2 weeks.
“No, I would just go up to them, ask them, in the neighborhood, ‘would you like for me to teach you to dance’and teach them my move, right there, on the street… (on the spot!)”, he said.
Did I hear him right? Was he serious? Did we just enter bizzaro world and I was being punked by Ashton Kucher? After clearing my throat from the disbelief, he continues, “do you have any recommendations of where I can go in the neighborhood to ask people?”
(Yeah…Funny Farms Hills Institution)
“I don’t know. This is unusual request. Wellll….maybe go up 63rd street, around the college?” I replied. I just didn’t know what to tell him but he seemed determined and I wanted to make sure that if you’re going to ‘jump off the bridge after taking your pills’, at least I could direct him to a less dangerous bridge. Worse he could do was break his ego.
“Well I was thinking across the park on the other side?” he asked.
“HECKS NO HARPO! I wouldn’t go the other side in the day light. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Aside from thinking that this whole idea was a bad case of CRAY CRAY, it was clear that I had to direct him somewhere…anywhere that won’t get him beat up and left in an abandon building. Every suggestion I had a first, he would offer another suggestion of a place to go. It was as if I would say, ‘go to Brooklyn for your project, but he really wanted to go to Beirut in the middle of war to see if they would be more receptive!
But I continued…. “well black people are going to think something is strange with you for one thing. But they may even entertain your ‘behavior’ out of curiosity or in need of a good joke for the day…(CRAY CRAY), but you know what, anything is possible. They are going to ask for you to demonstrate the dance first. So show me what you would show them.”
Now I pictured in my head a Dutch dance, with costume dresses and traditional dance. But what I was to view next….welll just say, ‘Houston, we have lift off ….to Cray Crayland!’
Imagine taking a large alley garbage can and pulling that garbage can towards you twice. Now swing your arms from the back of your back to the front of your body to push the garbage down into the bin. Do this twice and then bounce. Oh…did I say, there will be NO MUSIC? That’s the dance he wanted to teach.
With all the awkwardness of a dancer with no rhythm….that was what he proposed to teach the residents in the Englewood neighborhood….’The Trashman’.
At this point, my head is swimming with thoughts. Where do I even start? WHAT THE BAHEJEES!
I could only imaging several scenarios: 1) Could the people think that he was mocking them and then beat the crap out of him, 2) They see that he may not have taken his medication and thus think, that poor guy…3) the residents of Englewood could view him as one more crazy guy on the street, 4) Think he’s from crazyville and take his wallet and 5) Ask him to show them while thinking they are punked by Ashton Kucher.
All of these scenarios are visible and had real consequences. Oh and 6) they beat the stew out of him. But nobody beats crazyp eople….tooo much.
After a long discussion on the subject, he happily leaves for the main street of Englewood and ask random people to show them how to dance. When he comes back, he’s very happy. Several asked him to show them the dance and one went along and danced on the street with him.
But was that enough?
NOOOO….by no means. Inspired by the reaction of the people, he ask if I could go along with him and and videotape him.
Let’s just say, the day after, I thought long and hard about taking another drink. When he asked me that, I had been drinking a beer and in all of my laughter, I said sure I would go, after I go to my meeting. But when the day came, I’m thinking, ‘what the hades were you thinkin!’
Sunday afternoon, the streets were quiet. Mississippi who was supposed to come with me…bailed. The plan was to go to her barber shop and do the video. So I was left alone with cray cray. So what did I do? I did what any cray cray would do.
I took him to 63rd& King Drive….CRAY CRAY CENTRAL! The only corner that I know is surrounded by six liquor stores, a boat load of toothless crays crays on every corner, not to mention, some questionable characters that in any other time, can get ugly. This place makes Englewood look like Beverly Hills.
So he get out of the car, go up to a crowd of about 20 full on ‘characters’ and with his t-shirt like superman, ask folks if he could teach them to dance. The looks on their face was priceless…as was mine. When one asked him to do the dance, they looked at each other like ‘is he serious’.
I’m dying on the inside with laughter. I can’t make this stuff up! So I breakout the video camera.
When the ‘toothless ladies’ on the street started dancing with him, I started laughing myself so hard that I get out of the car to explain that he’s new to the country and without saying ‘he’s special’, I started filming ‘The Trashman’. That’s when I realized, ‘I DON’T HAVE MY TEETH IN MY MOUTH!’
That made me laugh even more because there were at least three ladies with no teeth while he’s dancing in the middle of the street as the folks looking on like, ‘what in the world is going on’.
So there I was, toothless Nonya taping cray cray Netherlands as he do the ‘trashman’ dance in the streets of 63 & King Drive. PRICELESS
Video is provided next.
Afterwards, we went to a barber shop where I didn’t have the courage to go into the shop with him. He went in alone. But after about 20 minutes I started to look for him since the door was locked. He came out afterwards stating that they let him demonstrate his dance and one guy did get out of his chair to do it with him and he was able to tape it.
Unbelievable. Who say’s black people don’t have a sense of humor!
And yet….this event, was only the icing on this CRAY CRAY CAKE!
Now let’s get to the cake shall we…..
Last weekend may have been one of those impromptu back porch house party that came out of no where. With eight french, four germans, an amazonian perubian and his wife from wisconsin, an asian auzzie, a crazy californian and i know i’m missing a bunch of folks…… somewhere in that 26 house guests, I caught mad cow flu! Was it from drinking unknowingly from folks cups, sipping on the nector pleasures of vodka mix or the vietnamese food with the stinky fish….or could it be from too much contact from slapping the face of my new found auzzie friend so as to teach him to dance without spazzing out? It could have been anything. The backlash of that night sent me reeling for the following week.
For what I thought was a simple cold, could have been straight out pnemonia. We will never know since I am neither under Obama care or any care at all. I’m on the ‘pray me back to health’ care system. So far its working.
Today was a rare moment where I felt somewhat energetic although my lungs said otherwise. Since the crazy California was due to leave today and I had picked up another crazy boy from South Africa (German) who loves to cross dress for fun and a switzerland…well…..lets just say the night just got interesting after a few celebratory drinks with our new found friends.
Last night I found some 50 year old fire crackers from cleaning out the back porch and of coarse I had an epiphany. Let’s blow something up! After all there are two good crackers here (the firecrackers!)!
So the German, Mississippi and myself take the crackers to the park across the street, barefoot. Moo Moo, my cat, was following us into the traffic unknowningly. So Missisissippi lighted the first duddy cracker but was trying to get the moo moo to get out of the street. I’m holding my celebratory glass of wine and Mississiipppi is running to get moo moo out of the street. Meanwhile the African German is looking at both laughing and trying to explain why he is not going to light the other cracker since he didn’t want to get deported. Of coarse we are all laughing.
At this point, an undercover cop slows down because Moo Moo doesn’t know where he want to be. The undercover cop looks at all three of us and the cat and ask if Mississippi got him?
My first thought was, ‘wow, no ‘what you white boy doing in this neighborhood’ or ‘was that liquor in your hand?’.”
Awwwwww, the cops are changing! There wasn’t even a moment of shock in his face as he looked at us. He really wanted to make sure that the cat didn’t get hit. As he let the cat pass, he just left, even tho I clearly had the other cracker in my hand. So Mississippi lit the 2nd cracker. This one was more powerful. So much so, the cat ran back first, followed by the German Auzzie, Mississippi and me hold my glass laughing while watching them run into the house for their lives. That junk was funny.
Afterwhich everyone goes to bed.
About 3 am…the door bell rings. My returnee arrives. Totally forgot about his arrival. lol Stay tune.
Somehow I managed to overbook. The total count was going to be 24….just like the old days! Only this time, we were not all going to be on one floor and spreaded out thru the kitchen on air mattresses….and I wasn’t going to be sleeping on the treadmill. But that was not really a consolation. I have come to be used to sleeping on a flat surface called a bed!
So to my surprise, I was 4 air mattresses short and was hoping somebody cancelled.
It was between the Germans and the French Canadian.
Half were betting the Germans (IF they were from the Munich area).
We were wrong.
The Germans were not from the Munich area. The French, they were not REAL Canadians. They were from France. And if I had known that, my money would have been on them! Those are the only two groups that usually leave or scare easy….France and Munich, Germany. Sorry…just the French. The Germans from Munich are not scared, they just real free with their money and prefer to be closer to Lincoln park…even quite friendly when they cancel and tell you, ‘no worries about the money’.
Earlier that day, the four from Germany came and dropped their belongings off before heading back out. They were really cool folks. One looked a little skittish but the three were very smiley, friendly and tired. I was still waiting for that last four. I didn’t even make them a bed thinking, “well the Germans ain’t goin nowhere. So let us hope!”
Say no more.
I noticed that there was a black car sitting in front of the house. I didn’t think that the car belonged to the last four guest from France since it had been there all day and no one had contacted me that they had arrived.
So around 9p.m., I get a text.
"Hi Nonya, we are at the Halsted station but we decide to walk home," stated the french guy.
Now normally, that wouldn’t had been a big deal for me. The other guests were playing dominos while listening to some old blues records on the LP, some were cooking and others sleeping.
But this is Saturday and the streets could very well be filled with foolish folks. So I decided to go get those kids before the police do.
I’m driving down the block slowly looking for signs of white in the area. The first two I see were the crazy funny Canadians drinking beers walking down the street as if it was nice sunny day. They had just past by a bunch of folks ordering chicken at Harolds and the liquor store.
I thought to say something to them but then I noticed, at a distance, at the stop light on Morgan, there was a police SUV in the cross section with lights flashing and an undercover car on the side.
I couldn’t see who they were talking to, at which I drove around them slowly like something out of the movies.
There they were! My four white French guests being pulled over by the police!
Could it be that I may get my cancellation?! Excited at the thought but cautiously continuing past them, I decided not to make the uturn and pick them up. I knew that the police would bring them home. That had walked halfway from the train to the house.
So I quickly drove back to the house and waited on the stairs. The crazy Canadians had just gotten home when I pulled up. I quickly told them what happened and said, ‘if they come, you just say, ‘hey cousin!’
We were laughing. As soon as we sat on the porch, the police pulled up….slowly coming up to the house. They made a u-turn and parked behind the black car.
So out come the four guests….clearly skird. The police had left off to what they do best….nothing.
"Are you nonya?" the guests asked. "I don’t think we will be staying."
"awwww….don’t let the cops scare you! They say that to all my white guests." I added.
"Yeah man, you’re fine! We’ve been here for some days and the neighbors are really nice! They pulled us over to. Don’t let them scare you like that!" the crazy canadians said.
"Thats ok….we’re going to be going", the French said.
"Well while you’re here, would you like a drink to get the edge off?" I asked.
"No, we’re just going to go" they added.
That’s when they got into the black car.
So they came early, dropped off their car, walked to the train in the day, was fine with that and decided that it looked ok in the day, then it should be fine in the night? Judging from the sound of their text when they were on their way home, they were excited to walk home. But then they got spooked by the cops.
"Don’t forget to cancel online to see if you can get something back!" I yelled out, but in my heart I said, ‘thanks for the donation’.
The rest of the evening was spent in a festive night. I gave the Germans their spots for which they were very happy, took them the megabus the next morning and everyone lived happily ever after…..at least until checkout!
I retract the previous post. She’s not a skank. I may have been tired and have that special day. hehehe Texas actually turned out to be nice. This is an official Skank Retraction.
As me dear Angela-Wonsey Travis would start off her sentences with, “OH LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH….” and Sybil would end it, “NOT TO PUT MY FOOT ACROSS THIS SKANK HEFFA’S neck!”…..
No guests expected to arrive until tomorrow. I leave my phone behind upstairs since I have all of my guest nicely secure in their beds. I’m expecting a boat load of folks over the weekend and trying to do as much deep cleaning tonight.
Mississippi reveals something to me that leads me to go upstairs to get. That’s where I discovered the messages on my cell.
"Nonya, this is Texas (aka Skank Heffa). I’ve arrived tonight and am about to book a hotel. I tried to reach you but no answer."
Of coarse there is no answer. She wasn’t suppose to be here until noon ON the 15th.
I don’t have any bookings tonight but she can’t possibly believe that one minute past midnight is ok for check-in although the check-in policy is clearly for after 12 noon at the latest, on the arrival date!
"I don’t have a reservation for you for tonight. In fact your bed is book. You aren’t scheuled to arrive until tomorrow after ‘noon’." I replied.
"I’m sorry thats my miscommunication". she reply, "i’m in a taxi right now."
"Well if you are in a cab, you can come tonight and i will prepare an air mattress".
It’s 2 a.m. in the morning and she arrives. The cab pulls up and I open the door with my cleaning gloves on. She seemed a little distressed even in the dark….I could see her face was not happy.
Folks, note to freakin self….IF YOU ARE HOMELESS IN CHICAGO, NEW YORK, LOS ANGELES and you arrive at ANYBODY’s home at 2 a.m. unexpectedly in the morning….the ONLY WORDS that should come out of your mouth is DEEP GRATITUDE! I don’t care if the house is made out of tin cans! I’m old school like that! Plain common sense.
FIRST WORDS OUT OF HER MOUTH, “Can I see the rooms?”.
THE HADES YOU CAN NOT!
She said it with such attitude, that my face went from Nonya’s bright and warm friendly smile to Sybil’s cringed black piercing eyes with a devil’s grin….instantly.
Calmly I said, “NO, everyone is sleep!”
That irritated me to no end. I usually assist folks as they struggle with their bags to get them up the stairs. This one….well lets just say Sybil locked my legs to keep me from budging one inch. As she was struggling up the stairs she muttered under her breath, ‘son of a bitch’. For once we agreed on something.
Because of her stank attitude, now you ain’t getting the air mattress!
When she came in the house and i walked her to the tv room, I said, “I won’t be able to set up an air mattress since i wasn’t expecting you and it would make to much noise.” I lied. I had an air mattress already blown up upstairs. But she is not going to be nowhere near me in this house…for her own safety.
"For tonight, you will be on this sofa." I made up the couch. She asked, "So do I still have to pay $13 for the couch?" I said, "yes. $13 is the base price for just being in the house." I should have made her pay more!
Stank, Skank and fumes was just ooozing out of her face. She tried to tell me that her reservation is for the 15th and this is the 15th. That is true. But the reservation is for CHECK IN AFTER 12 noon on the 15th! Here’s the killing part…..she’s studying Hotel Management! I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO FLUNK LESSON NO. 1.
She calls her mother and starts to speak in spanish. I’m sure she was not saying anything nice based on her demeanor. But thats ok. Every minute gave me great satisfaction. I told her that she don’t have to pay if she’s not staying or leaving a day early. “Are you staying or do you think you will be staying?” I asked. She replied, “I’m leaving on the 22nd at 2 p.m.”.
"Thats your reservation normal check out….so you have to pay the $13". Hesitantly she pull out the money.
The next day, India, the girl that was in the booked bed that night (that Heffa booked for the 15th) calls me to let me know she is ready to go to the airport. I had completely forgot.
So I jump out of bed. Skank heffa couldn’t even look at me. However, India girl was bubbly and happy, hugging all of the guests even tho she had only been here for one night, walked home from the train and chatted with the folks the night before before going to bed. On the other hand, Skank Heffa looked like she woke up and bit into a bowl of nails. EAT UP cause I got a can of CROW in the back to wash that down with!
Mississippi overheard Skank talking to New York (another guest thats been here a month). She tried to trash mouth me to my own guests! REALLY? YOU JUST GOT HERE AND YOU DON’T KNOW THESE PEOPLE! To New York’s credit, she didn’t join in but simply said, ‘maybe annie got the information wrong since there are so many guests coming in.” Poor girl don’t know. But skank does. She tried to say it was my fault and that she had to pay extra for a night. REALLY???? You sharin that with a newbie!
So off I left for the airport. India had expressed how she loved the place and how she really liked watching the kids play across the street. She said, “In one day I feel like I made a lifetime of friends. I’ve been here 4 months downtown and nobody talks to you.” After i told her that the guests had been here for months and even a year in some cases, she yelled, “we can stay that long??” Taken back a bit, I said yeah if I like you. I only had to put out three. Then she said that shes coming back in September because she’s rotating at UIC and would like to stay here. ”I could stay here the whole time!” You sure can dearie, you sure can. But not your evil cousin. This skank gots to go.
Going to be a long long weekend. I’m already writing Skank Heffa’s obituary for the review. Stay tune.
And this is me CALM AFTER I consulted with my high priestess Jackie! LOL
I can’t see nothing else around me!!! All i see is MY LOCK IS REMOVED, IN HIS HANDS WITH SPRINGS, BROKEN PIECES AND CRAP!
"Its not my fault! I was trying to close the gate to see if the lock aligned up with the bracket and it just broke!"
IT DON’T JUST BREAK! ITS A HACK PROOF LOCK WITH LIFETIME WARRANTY!
IF IT JUST BROKE, WHY IN HADES DID YOU UNSCREW IT AND TAKE THE WHOLE THING DOWN!!!!
I was SCREAMING on the inside!!! I knew that now that he had taken the lock off, it would cost another $150 to have it install. Instead of just coming to me when he was having problems with the lock, he man handles the lock, break the plate and latch! It was workin JUST FINE before then!!! All I ASKED YOU TO DO WAS PUT A HOLE IN THE OPPOSITE POLE SO THAT THE LATCH COULD JUST GO RIGHT THRU….NOTHING ELSE!
Eyes rolling back in my head, being EARLY in the morning and I had to rush to take the guest downtown to the train, I gave myself a minute. I told the contractor, i can’t deal with this right now. I have to go. So I told him, “Here’s the $120 for the balance I said I would pay for that (FREAKIN) wood fence” that was suppose to have been covered in the original quote! I know i know….why give another dollar. In my head at this moment, that was the money to let you know that thats the last dime you’re going to get from me.
"Whats this?" He asked. "Your BALANCE!" I replied. This was the balance for the ONE WOOD SIDE GATE (not steel). The original quote for the WHOLE project was $1,400. The monster gate went from $1,400 to $1,850 (just for the steel part) to $350 plus $300 for labor on the wood part!!
"I gave you $575 to date (for the wood gate) and the materials were about $350/$360. So that means, I owe you only $120."
"No Nonya, that was allll materials".
THE HELL IT WAS! EXCUSE MY FRENCH!
"You mean to tell me that the materials was $575 and I owe you $300 on top of that to pay you for a total of $900? It was only $38 a panel times 6, 4 posts @ $10, throw in some concrete and hinges….THAT IS NOT $575!!" I yelled, "I gotta go, here is the $120 and tomorrow you bring me all the receipts."
WHOOO FREAKIN SAAAAAAA
As I am writing this, it dawn on me, ‘whats the going rate of getting across the gates of hell”? Maybe this is Hell and that gate is just the entry point at $3,000….cause thats what this OVERPRICED DOOKIE BALLS PIECE OF FENCE COST!
OH OH OH OH!!! Did i mention that the welder who built the ‘fence from hades’, didn’t flush the gate correctly so that its to close at the top! He said he would fix it when he come back to put the hole in the post. So after the keyless lock was installed, I called him to put the hole in the post at which point he says, ‘I can’t do it for 3 weeks because I’m on a big job!” I SAID “WHATTTT?????”
You CAN’T FINISHED THIS DEVIL FORSAKEN FENCE!!!
He said no.
But then today, my contractor, told me this morning, the ACE HOLE welder don’t have a job for no three weeks! In fact, he was standing outside Home Depot, on the corner, at 7 this morning waiting for somebody to pick him up to do a job.
So my contractor says he feels bad that he hired him. He subcontracted the job to get $100 off the project!!! A FREAKIN $100 which now is $1,600 OVERBUDGET!!!
Well guess what….
Oh lookie here. What do I have in my pocket? Ummm, it’s a card to another contractor. I called him Saturday after my contractor left. They came out today and took measurements and everything, showed me a stack of photos (actually he had box) of photos from other projects and he’s retiring as a fireman. I even let him know upfront, I ain’t paying all at once, and shared what my previous contractor told me it would cost to do. His reply? ”oh we can beat that. Just let us prove to you our work, work with us a little at a time, pay in segments as the job is completed”…..yeah music to my ears.
I’m cheating on my contractor of 3 years….Its over! YOU”RE FIRED!
Also firing my GARBAGE MAN! Takin out my own DANG GARBAGE! Told that fool to do one simple job and made the mistake of paying him $40 upfront for the job of filling in a whole in front of the next lot with pebbles. I normally never do that but i figure, he’s here practicallly every day for the past year. So i give him the money. Day 1, job partially finished. He used junk and bricks mix to fill in the whole. Final step is to just go get the rocks and lay it over. Day 2….nobody….day 3….nobody….day 4….nobody….GARBAGE DAY….nobody…. A whole week later, he comes back, ‘do you have any garbage?”. I looked at him like you must be off your rocker. Without saying a word, i look at the job he didn’t finished and asked, what is that?
"Oh i’m going to do it. Its hard work getting those rocks." (your point is what?).
As in the words of Seeley, “you do right by me”, YOU AIN’T GETTING ANOTHER D**** DIME! I took out my own DANG GARBAGE! AND I called my old garbage man back who just got out of jail for not payin child support! There’s ALWAYS BACKUP!
"FIX IT!", as best said by Olivia (in Scandal).
I’m spring cleanin crackheads, spring cleanin! Out with the old contractor and garbage man, in with the new!